I recently came across Mel Robbins biography. She had a shitty past, and there was a time in her life that she found herself bankrupt and in bed at the age of 41. Now she is a very respected worldwide motivational speaker. If you search for people who are now influential, they would have a past with many major setbacks. Now her days are full of joy and happiness.

We all fall; that is ok. The importance is how we get up and rise after we fall back. People who experience major setbacks might think that this is the end; however, no one ever knows when it will be the end. As long as we breathe, there is always the next, and we have a new chance to achieve something awesome. This could be a great happiness.

Do we need to be extremely influential?

As a society, we have the tendency to be extremely influential; however, is this necessary? The first thing that we need to do is to make ourselves and people around us happy, this is a meaningful key for happiness. Then maybe thinking something to have an impact on society. However, we for sure need to prioritize certain things.

We do not need to be extremely influential. The first thing is work satisfaction; that comes first. You need to know yourself and be happy with who you are. That is already a great achievement to discover your core self. Then the second is making people around you happy. And the last one is to have a clear goal and days that add meaning to it, then the true happiness comes.

Meaning is the sweet balm that connects each day, it is true source for happiness. If you feel that what you do is meaningful, you will feel happy. Tomorrow is going to be valuable. So if you are someone for whom you found your passion, then there is no great need to get worldwide approval. Happiness should be your next step.

How to recover and move on after a major setback?

I am someone who experienced a major setback. It took me 4 years to proceed after that experience. It was extremely psychologically traumatic for me to experience that, and because of the intense burnout, I had issues with acting with mental sanity. Those were the years with extreme anger and cynicism. My body got very tired of those extreme negative experiences. What I valued so much, which is my career, was lost. So I had to start all over again in life.

After experiencing those things, there are multiple factors that accompany it. You feel like your life is wasted, it is over, or your motivations are gone. However, maybe losing them will help you to acquire new motivations in life. Maybe you will love your new life.

How to get unstuck in the past?

Getting stuck in the past is the biggest punishment that you could give to yourself. If some major setback happened, it was for something at a higher benefit. Learn from it and move on. The more you think about it, the more it will push you down. Whatever happened is already happened.

Instead, change your mindset. What have you learned from it? Everyone experiences something in the end. Bless your learnings and move on in life. That experience is a worldwide valid one.

Someone that I know had a very serious bike accident, and the rest led to unfortunate medical procedures. She physically suffered a lot from health issues, and it took her approximately 5 years to overcome all this. However, once she told me that all this situation also brought her a lot of benefit. Thanks to it, her husband proposed. So it led to good outcomes, and happiness comes.  

If you experienced a major setback, instead of questioning why this happened in this way, just look at the bright side. So make a list to be happy.

Thanks to the major setback;

• I became wiser
• I learned to overcome difficulties
• I learned that health is the most prior thing in my life
• I understand what it means to be in a difficult situation

Can I fall back in love with my life after a major setback?

Yes, sure, why not? You have seen the worst, so now you have a chance to compare. Life consists of good days and bad days. Sometimes we fall and sometimes we rise. When there is meaning in life, then you would be happy. Everyone can make a mistake or do things that are out of character. This does not mean that you are a bad person.

To fall back with your life, first you need to forget about what happened. Then start a new chapter in your life. Every day is a new beginning, and you never know that where you stand, maybe it is the best place for you.

“Instead of resisting to changes, surrender. Let life be with you, not against you. If you think ‘My life will be upside down’ don’t worry. How do you know down is not better than upside?”

― Shams Tabrizi

Here is advice from a Reddit reader

“Travel, get out of your country and see new things, eat new food, meet new people. Get a new perspective on what life is like around the world, what others value and cherish, and what brings them joy.

Try working with a nonprofit group, giving back to others often brings the soul joy and opens up to new opportunities.

Try to do something daring, roller coasters or deep sea diving, maybe a new dance class. Something that challenges you and scares you a bit.”

Mornings are the key

I love mornings since my childhood. They give a special energy to me. Try to wake up early and do as much as you can. You can open a music accompanying your work. The more you do, the more you would feel the energy in your life.

Miracle morning is a book by Hal Elrod, and he offers certain exercises that will help you to transform your life. So set your routines before bedtime, wake up early, and the savers are;

• Silence
• Affirmations
• Visualization
• Exercise
• Reading 
• Scribbling

The objectives are physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual. Click to read more about the effect of morning routine.

Here is an inspiring music that would help you to boost your mood.

Acknowledge that today is a new day, a new page in life:

No matter whatever happened in the past, it is the matter of past. Yesterdays are there for us to learn, and todays are for us to enjoy. 

You owe today’s wise actions to yesterday’s strange mistakes. Just start now to enjoy and stop thinking about the future. Live like today is the last day of your life. 

Make a list of things that you enjoy and do them based on a list. Here is a list of pleasurable activities.

You can start by wearing your best clothes and going out for a walk as a start. This will help you to feel good about yourself.

In conclusion

Life throws different things to all of us. Sometimes our lives can get messed up. It is ok, there is only learning. Whatever happens, get up and try again. Maybe you will be 90 or 100 or maybe your life will end tomorrow. It is ok. It doesn’t matter. Just wake up and in the new day try again.

Experiencing a major setback is a great opportunity to live in the moment. There is a lot to compensate from the previous days. This can be your motivation to move on in life. 

Major setbacks can also help us to think in a very creative way. You will know what it means to be sad and miserable. Thanks to that experience, you will show lots of empathy to other people. Showing kindness might open lots of doors to you in the future. 

Instead of regretting, just bless your life and try to move on. Maybe the new life would be much better than the old one. Bless what you have and learn to be content with them.