The environment that we are in plays an essential role on how we behave, look and development of our self-esteem. If people are supportive and respect us and give a chance for our personal growth, then we will flourish. However, if we are in a place where we are given lots of pressure and have disrespectful behaviors, than it would influence our health in the end. Workplace distress can leave intense scar on our mental health, therefore it is essential to become aware of the topic.
Case 1:
Jane has low self-esteem. She lived in London and needed to work and found an office to work in a consulting company. The company was somewhat old-fashioned, with classical paperwork and a strict hierarchical workflow. Jane, as a 27 years old woman, was the only two and the rest were colleagues men above 50. Jane as a personality, was a people pleaser, and she tried to gain the approval of the colleagues. The colleagues somehow had the opinion that Jane should be responsible for arranging the paperwork and serving the colleagues. Though this was not the core responsibility of Jane, she did her best to please colleagues. However, things got out of control after a while, and Jane started to feel very stressed. There was too much pressure from the colleagues, and she was obliged to do lots of side work, which prevented her own work progress. It got to a point that this started to disrupt Jane’s sleep; she started to wake up during the night and got worried about her progress. This behavior has to stick to her in the end, and she started to experience chronic stress, and she started to behave in a very awkward way.
This situation influenced Jane in a very strange way, every day when she closes her eyes, she experiences a form of stress that the colleagues comes to her mind. This situation irritates her very much, she started to feel very triggered when coming to work. In the end, she is very, very stressed. It got her into a loop and influenced her mental health. The situation got to a point that this influenced her mind and her body. She started to feel panic attacks whenever she thinks of the office. This started to give permanent damage to her mental health.
How to recover from workplace distress?
The ideal is to talk to an expert since they will help you to recover from this situation. It’s Complicated is a great platform to find experts in this field. Here is my profile on It’s Complicated.
Try to loose all the contacts with the previous workplace
Try to lose all the contact with the previous workplace—things that remind you to leave it away. Then try to focus on positive meditation, and do things that would be good for you. Anything that triggers you in the previous workplace, leave it behind. This will help you to stay away from triggers that would cause stress.
Then cheer your days up with activities that would be good for you. DIY stuff, going outside with friends, anything that influences you would be a great option. Do every day something that gives you happiness. Forget about the rest. Try to be happy.
Remember that you are the most important being in your life
You are the most precious gift in your life. Comfort yourself, make it happy. It is more important than work or anything in your life. If you feel happier than the rest of the people will feel happy. If you feel joy, then the rest of the people would also feel joy. So give importance to yourself.
How you give importance to yourself is by being happy? Every day when you wake up, think about how valuable you feel. Whatever you have experienced, you deserve to feel good and be happy.
So your next goal should be to learn to be happy no matter whatever the situation is. In order to do this, first, you need to acknowledge that the past is in the past. There is now and now on. And then find new ways to make yourself happy.
Talk about this topic for a while to people around you and then leave it for forever
When you are exposed to intense toxicity, you would feel stressed. It can influence your life and start sabotaging it. Talk and explain the topic to people around you, and then give yourself time to digest this, and then let it go….
Open a new chapter in your life for new things. When you notice such stress, just try not to think about it. Distract yourself from the topic. There is more in life than that stressful event.
Do a gratitude meditation
Every day, think about the positive moments that you experience. Every day is new, and you will learn something from it. It’s ok if you had losses, bad days etc. Life comes every day in a new way. Maybe the experiences would make you wiser and next time you would feel very happy. Maybe you owe your happiness to previous life experiences; it is ok.
Be thankful for being alive, being present, enjoying life… Click to read more about gratitude.
If I am suffering from Burnout, what should I do?
It could be that you might be suffering from burnout. Then the ideal is to acknowledge this. Afterward, maybe talk to burnout coach and then explain to her the situation. Recovering from burnout would take some time, and every day you need to do something that is going to contribute to your recovery.
An important phase of burnout recovery is setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing self-care. Here is an article regarding this.
It could be that you might be suffering from burnout. Then the ideal is to acknowledge this. Afterward, maybe talk to a burnout coach and then explain to her the situation. Recovering from burnout would take some time, and every day you need to do something that is going to contribute to your recovery.
An important phase of burnout recovery is setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing self-care. Here is an article explaining how to recover from burnout.
Do more of the things that you like
Being in an intense burnout means that for a very long time you were stressed and did not have any chance to recover. Recovery starts with doing things that help you to recharge and start doing things that are engaging for you. There you will discover more about being in a joyful state.
One of the things that gives me joy is watching Turkish series and doing diamond painting. Another possible activity could be doing Lego and puzzles. Do whatever gives you joy in life. The more you do it, the more it is going to get better. Also, every morning, wake up and think about the positive events in your life. This will motivate you to achieve more in life.
Get away from the traumatic event and stay away from people that associates trauma to you. Every day, do something positive and life will become cheerful to you. Imagine that your head is a computer program, and it would operate based on however you feed it. If you feed it with positive thoughts, that would be the outcome that you would get. On the other hand, if you feed it with negative thoughts, then your mind would operate based on negativity. The more you stay away from such distressing events, the more life will be good for you.
Click for a list of pleasurable activities that would help you to do enjoyable activities.
How to avoid future workplace bullying?
When you experience this once in your life, you will learn to cope with it. And for future you need to do two things: emotional regulation and learn to explain yourself. Setting healthy boundaries would help you to protect you from future harm, and also having a clear idea on what you need would be a good direction on how to proceed. Do some exercises to get to know yourself and then this will help you find a direction in life. When you are clear on what to do and what not to do, then this will help you to increase your energy. Less workplace distress, more life energy.
Ideal future for Jane:
Jane quit the workplace and felt very stressed for the first year. The burnout gave her lots of pressure; she learned to manage this. She did activities that gave her lots of pleasure and sought meaning in life. Over time, she is relaxed and finds activities that are suitable for her lifestyle. Jane found a new job which is very suitable for her needs, and she is developing herself in a very meaningful and nice way since then.
Jane took some therapy after quitting her job, there she learned to set healthy boundaries and learned to present herself assertively to others. This has given her confidence on how to proceed. She learned strategies on how not to put herself into strange situations again. Life started to get better afterwords and once things that felt as workplace distress was now not stressful anymore.
Some advice from people who experienced such things before
- Try not to get too much obsessed with what they have done to you.
- Life continues, be happy no matter what, proceed
- These setbacks helps people to grow, and their life could be better with wiser choices
- Time heals everything, it shall pass
- If your character is too much prone to mobbing, maybe you should consider doing your own job
- You will learn new skills, in future no one will break your ship
In conclusion
Mobbing is a very serious psychological issue, and it is necessary to be aware of it. It can leave permanent scars on the soul. If you are exposed to certain behaviors, the ideal is to become aware of them and take actions to change it. Workplace distress is a clear sign that there is some mobbing.
Such extreme behaviors may also help you to understand what truly matters in life. If you have issues with setting boundaries, psychological weakness, emotional regulation than such experience may be a great teacher in terms of helping you find the right direction in life. If you experience such things in life, ensure that it will pass in the future.
Through major setbacks, you will learn to acknowledge what matters in life truly. If life is throwing you lemons, then it is time to make lemonades 🙂
